Stress and Family Health

Every year for the past many years, our family has gone to the same state park and camped in the same spot. It is a special spot because there are no neighbors and we almost feel as if it is our very own by now. This has proven to be one of the best things ever to bond with them.

Even now, when they are in their teens, they get all excited and wild-eyed when we get close and they see their old familiar sights: the rope swing, the granite rocks, the hiking trails, the beautiful lake, and finally our secret spot!

I always have the same rules and have never had a problem, except when a whiney boy was allowed to tag along and disrupt everything. Nobody has gotten lost, too injured or sick in all the years, though we have had to get some help with a fish hook stuck through a finger once.

Anyway, parents should think about things they can do regularly with their children to create lasting memories. It is not the big, expensive things that matter: it is the fact that you are there with them, doing the same things. Sometimes this is not so easy and requires considerable sacrifice because maybe you just don’t want to hike up the trail to swim in a pond.

Yet the discomfort of doing things we don’t necessarily want to is much less than the discomfort of alienating a teenager or making trips to the local family counselor! A lot of depression is the result of feeling unloved or overlooked.

Find those things that fit with your family and your style. Maybe sports, maybe music, science fairs, bike trips, even shopping trips (talk about a sacrifice!), find what fits and make a memory. They will last a lifetime.  This is also a great way to relieve family stress, as long as you do not try to overdo it.

This is part two of “How To Raise Athletic Children.” Here is the daily routine, more or less…

• Everybody, everybody gets up around 7 am. Nobody is allowed to lounge around or sleep in until some ridiculous hour and be as lazy as possible.
• Breakfast is planned so that the girls (or boys), are the ones preparing, serving and cleaning up for breakfast. Plan it on a rotating schedule so everyone, even the privileged snobby ones are required to contribute. Make the meal substantial, so they are not hungry again for a while.
• The daily activity is not the sport they are playing, in this case soccer. Instead, use “cross-training” such as kayaking in the river in front of my house to the nearby island.  They could camp out on the island, make their own meals, learn how to get dirty and grubby, then wash off in the river.
• The next day they could play volleyball, or plant a garden, or ride a bike to the store 5 miles down the road to get a drink.
• Another day they could hike up one of the nearby mountains, maybe camp on the top. You can be sure they would sleep well! No Ipods, no cell phones, no internet during the day. Give their spirits a chance to listen to the wind and water for a change.
• They could mow the lawn, kayak across the river to play soccer at the local college with visiting girls from other areas.
• They could go swimming again, in a different river nearby, and hike up a different mountain.
• What about hide and seek at night? Or German spotlight tag? There are endless old fashioned games that are really fun to do at night. Lots of squeals and shrieks of delight!
• You get the point, let them play, shut the door to the house, give them opportunity to try new things that might challenge them.

So many children are out of shape and have little practical experience with real-life situations! Parents are always working just to keep the wolf away and few people have the time or energy to oversee such healthy activities.

I am certain that one of the primary reasons for the outstanding athleticism of all of my 8 children is this very thing. We allowed them the room to run around outside and get dirty, try new things, and make mistakes. This is, of course, somewhat of a messy operation and includes a lot of possibilities to “get into trouble.” Yet the trouble they got into was mostly fairly innocent.

One of the “innocent” troubles was when my skateboarding son and his friends occupied a vacant mattress factory parking lot and set up a very elaborate skate park. It was so well done, but, in the end, they all got hauled in for some trespassing issues. We tried and tried to get the town to build a park, but it just didn’t fit with their image of shiny BMW’s and Mercedes.

So, if you want to learn how to raise athletic children who keep busy and initiate good activities, give them the space, a few tools and keep a loose leash on everything. You will learn to trust each other, but it is certainly a process!

When my youngest daughter was playing soccer for a club team in Connecticut I realized a few things about raising athletic children. You see, she was the star player on a private club team in a very exclusive part of the exclusive state. We were one of two families that were not rich.

Without elaborating on the wealth of some of these parents, let is suffice to say that they had butlers, gated estates, landscaped in-ground swimming pools, and private chefs. One of the girls even had a BMW convertible at the age of 14! More than once I put my foot far into my mouth when talking with these parents.

Many of the girls had private trainers and memberships to the best exercise clubs anywhere. They had the best equipment, coaching, training, etc., but none of them could outdo my daughter. Now, this is, of course, partly due to genes. Her mother could have been a very good athlete, but there were no girls sports in her little farming town in rural Wisconsin. I was a star track and field athlete and even won the state long jump championship in high school.

On the other hand, I am convinced that another reason she did so well was because she had always been encouraged to play outside as a child. That is how I came up with the rather tongue-in-cheek idea to start a summer camp for young budding athletes.

I would charge an outrageous amount of money per week because then the parents would feel like they were getting something really special. Make it sound exclusive and fancy. So I made up the $5,000 per week tuition rate.

Next, they would all stay at my house for the entire time, and follow the routine laid out. Since I live in the countryside, it would work out quite well to have such a camp, as you will see…

Next blog I will lay out the daily schedule…

For the past 30 years I’ve been hearing about this very interesting way to increase your gas mileage, and I just couldn’t believe it was possible. Now I have changed my mind. Watch this video and check out the site; it is well worth considering. The video is the one with Jimmy Carter on the front.

Here is the link to the video and story… 

One of the most common menopause symptoms is a low sex drive, along with the hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings. The good news is that there are a number of safe, natural menopause relief solutions available to help!

During perimenopause and menopause it is quite normal to feel a decreased appetite for sex. This is because the body naturally is putting survival ahead of pleasure. Fortunately, it is usually a simple matter to restore your libido.

Why does your libido decrease?

Usually the reason is due to a hormonal imbalance. A lifetime of dieting can be the cause, especially low fat diets. This is because the body requires the fat to produce the necessary hormones.

Another common reason is stress. When the body is under stress, which it usually is, the adrenal glands work overtime to keep you in an alert state. Gradually this disrupts the hormonal balance, with the resulting symptoms of menopause.

During menopause the hormones begin to change and very often the balance between the testosterone, estrogen and progesterone changes. Once again, the common menopause symptoms appear.

How can you increase your libido?

The first step in finding a natural menopause solution is to get an evaluation of your hormones by taking the free, online assessment offered by the Women To Women Clinic. It is very informative, and the results are kept confidential. Plus, it is free!

A well known expert, Michael Webb, has written a very, very good ebook that can do wonders for your love life. He has been featured on Oprah, Redbook, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, and just about any other publication you can think of. I can’t believe how much you get for your money! Wish I would have had this a long, long time ago! You can find out more here. 

Some important steps you should take are

• Eat a diet rich in fresh, organic fruits and vegetables

• Drink plenty of water

• Make sure you get adequate vigorous exercise

• Make every effort to get enough sleep and rest

• Take time for yourself, you need to recharge and be centered

• Use high quality vitamin/mineral supplements

Communicate with your partner

Often women are reluctant to speak up about things such as vaginal dryness or discomfort. They are so used to caring for others that they just put up with it. Yet, by merely mentioning that you feel pain during intercourse and want to find a natural menopause relief solution, you can often find new satisfaction.

There are numerous water based lubricants available that can make a dramatic difference. Drinking lots of water will also have the effect of lubricating the vaginal area.

Your partner certainly wants you to be comfortable and satisfied, it is in his best interest as well! There is no need to suffer from a low sex drive during menopause.

What you should do

• Take the free online assessment
• Take steps to improve your overall health, as mentioned above
• Use high quality vitamin/mineral supplements
• Communicate with your partner
• Use lubricants and drink plenty of water
• Take time for yourself so you are happy!

For some reason I thought that parenting kind of stopped when the children got older. That was until mine got older and I discovered an interesting fact: they needed me more than ever!

When my oldest went to college I thought she would more or less be on her own. Turned out, much to my delight, that she wanted more to do with us than when she was in high school. She called home several times a week, asked for advice, asked for favors, needed this and that, and generally was a lot more friendly as well.

After a few months she told me: “Dad, I can’t believe I put you through all of that!” She was quite an adventurous girl in high school, to put it mildly! Now we were more like friends and our relationship was better than ever.

Funny, at one point they think your opinion is borderline worthless, and within a few months you are wise and helpful. After this initial experience, it helped with the next ones who were quickly coming of age to know that I was on the right track. I don’t know about you, but parenting can sure make you doubt yourself and erode your confidence.

I’ve learned to follow principles, not emotion. Do things because it is the right thing to do, not because it is convenient or will temporarily make somebody feel good. I heard a man say the other day that there are no absolutes. I totally disagree. Lying is lying, stealing is stealing, kindness is kindness, honesty is honesty and so on. Once you start down the slippery slope of selective values, you are always changing and making it up as you go along.

Children need absolutes, it gives them security and boundaries. If your standards are constantly floating about in the water of situational ethics, they probably will drown in confusion.

What do you think?

Now that I have been the father of 8 official teenagers, I feel I have seen and heard a little bit of everything. Sometimes I figure teens are just temporarily insane, but then again, they are also wonderful people.

Anyway, I personally don’t get too excited about parenting books. Sometimes I think they are written by people who don’t even have children! Have you noticed that those are the people that know the most? It is one thing to write about knowledge, but quite another to make numerous trips to the emergency room, pick them up late at night, call their friends parents to check up, and get up early to take another one to a school event.

Recently I came across some very good, useful, solid help for parents with out of control teens. Whether you have one who talks back, takes drugs, runs away, fails to try in school, doesn’t even want to go to school, is disrespectful, is irresponsible, won’t help out at home, is cruel to his siblings, or any other teenage problem, you will find some help here.

It is a program put together by Mark Hutton M.A. It includes online support, several ebooks, a powerpoint presentation, videos the cover everything from ADHD to Wilderness Programs, a newsletter, a parent forum, and even access to Mark! The program also comes with a 100% money back guarantee, so you have nothing to lose, but a lot to gain.

Really, I don’t know why human nature is so reluctant to ask for help, but it is. We just keep going around and around, suffering the same humiliation time and again. Why not give it a try? Just imagine how nice your teen can be at times. Now imagine your teen that way all the time! Ahh… peace and a good relationship again!

Find out more about this remarkable program now, and save yourself a lot of sleepless nights, not to mention the headaches! You owe it to yourself to get some peace and respect.

I don’t remember where this is written in the Bible, but maybe one of the minor prophets. Anyway, the way I see it, if you keep on doing what is right, regardless of how it appears, eventually, good things happen.

It isn’t always so easy to just continue “being good” in the face of contradictions, opposition, or rejection. I always heard that children will retain the values instilled in them when they are small, and later, when they are grown up, they will return to these same values. It is true. I’m actually in awe of how true it is.

Considering how topsy turvy everything is today, and how values shift and turn like leaves in the breeze, it is amazing how  true this principle has proven to be. I don’t know about other people, but I see it in my 5 oldest to a surprising degree.

The hard part is when they seem to reject you and need to find their own way. It’s like fishing; you set the hook and let them run until they tire, then you reel in the fish. Never lose hope in their goodness. Hang on by faith that what you have given them will grow and produce fruit one day.

What about the plowman and the reaper? Imagine your children (or yourself!) reaping the consequences of poor decisions. You might have damaged relationships, debt, addictions, poor health due to neglect, or any such thing. The reaper doesn’t really care who you are, he is just the reaper and he takes away anything of value so it can be destroyed.

Yet, now the change has come, the plowing and planting of new seeds begins. These are the values you gave your children when they were small. Seeds can lie dormant for centuries and still grow! The ground gets turned over, making a lot of chaos and disruptions, but new habits, decisions and choices can be made and be allowed to grow. This change can be a very stressful time, because it is so tenuous. It could go either way.
One day, you notice that the good overtakes the bad and it is as if the tide has changed. Finally, peace and sanity is restored! Keep planting, keep talking, keep in contact, love without expecting anything in return, be good in the face of rejection: it will all return one day-in abundance. I am truly amazed at how true this is unfolding  personally. Thank God.

On this father’s day I was struck by how much my children have learned to live by my ideals. As they were growing up I made a conscious efforts to instill in them a love for children, a sense of adventure, a love of nature, and unraveling riddles of any sort. During our many conversations today, I could see how influenced by this they all have been.

My oldest wouldn’t hang up until I gave her a thoughtful nugget to contemplate. It was exactly as if she were a little girl and I was putting her to bed-she always insisted that I “tell her something.” It had to be a sort of analogy from nature with a proverb intertwined. She was so happy when I came up with a useful example about how June apples are perfect, even though they are not fully grown. We too can be happy just to be, even if we are not as we wish we were or will become.

My next oldest told me how he was living the life I would have lived if I hadn’t had so many children! He has a lot of free time and is able to pursue his passion, BMX bike riding. He actually makes a good living doing it! Plus he donates a lot of time and effort to helping inner-city kids with a foundation he helped start.

Another one took us all on a little trip to see his latest landscaping project, he was so proud of it. He had done a great job and the owners were very happy to see him. He reminded me of how I allowed him to build all kinds of stuff in our yard as a boy. One day I came home and there was a huge half-pipe built in the front yard! He had forts, fireplaces, ramps and all kinds of building projects on our property. He can now pursue his childhood dreams and get paid for it!

Give them your time, your energy, keep up with them and know who they are! So many children do not have an adult they can confide in, it is so sad. Set an example so they can taste what life can be like. They soak up everything!