I’ve often wondered why some people seem to have the ability to fight back when things go against them, remain flexible and seek a solution, and why other people blame others and become angry and frustrated.
Surely there are thousands of theories that attempt to explain why this is so, probably most of them have kernels of truth as well. Nevertheless, I believe that nearly anyone can learn to react in a better way and have a much happier and peaceful life.
A few years ago I sat, together with my cousin, listening to my 100 year old grandmother tell stories of her long life. The thing that impressed me the most was how free she was from complaining or feeling sorry for herself.
One example took place shortly after she was married. They decided to move from southeastern Colorado to Wyoming to open a sort of general store to supply the sheep herders in the area. They were doing well, until the Federal government changed the grazing boundaries to accommodate the cattlemen. Suddenly, without warning, they were put out of business.
By the time my grandfather settled his accounts they had $2 left. She had also just discovered that she was pregnant! He told her to go back to Colorado with half the money and he would join her there as soon as he finished up with the business. Imagine such as scene!
She wound her way to Denver and eventually made it to La Junta, where they had started out. A friend let them live on the back porch for the winter and the new born baby lived in an upside down bathtub for a bedroom!
No heat, no money, just each other and hope. Soon, my grandfather got a good job at the railroad as a machinist, even though he had no experience whatsoever. He worked there his entire life and retired with a very good pension.
The baby grew up to become an elegant woman who married an Air Force colonel and she also owned and operated the finest clothing store in Pueblo, Colorado.
As Mamo, as we called my grandmother, told this story I was struck by how she seemed to describe it as just another bump in the road. Not a hint or trace of self-pity or bitterness. She had numerous stories of personal injustice as well and betrayal that could have made her a very angry person.
Why is it that some people have everything available to speed them along the path of happiness and they disdain it? Why is it that undocumented aliens sacrifice everything so one family member can get an education?
We are what we choose to become. We can determine our own destiny, to a great extent. We can decide to change, we can decide to be grateful and take advantage of life’s many opportunities. Faith gives us strength and hope, religion puts us in artificial boxes of confinement.
If only young people could get a taste for this attitude of thankfulness and fighting to make good things happen. The plague of blaming others and excuse making is a curse of our time. How much better to accept things and then choose to react in a good way!