Without trust there can be no real relationship, in a family or anywhere else for that matter. When a child is lied to, a parent deceived, a brother or sister stolen from, the very fabric of love is torn and damaged.

Some people seem to think that others exist for their own advancement or exploitation. Why else would a parent spend a college fund on vacations or a teenager steal money from his own poverty stricken mother?

The sad thing is that this type of behavior continues, year after year and into the next generation. The only way to stop this cycle of mistrust is to completely break free on a personal basis and begin a new generation. This is much easier said than done, and I have compared it to changing the course of a river.

To change patterns that are inherited a person literally needs to rewire his or her brain. Obviously, such a change takes a huge amount of courage and commitment. Yet, it can be done and people can grow into a new class of being.

The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science (Null)

I love this book!

Can you imagine driving halfway across Canada without ever looking out the window to admire the scenic beauty of the land? Well, if you were a devoted member of the Smith’s Friends religious group you would be lauded  if you did such an unnatural thing.

In fact, you would be esteemed as extra spiritual and maybe even mentioned as a shining example of a cleansed soul.  I know this to be the case because I personally know the man who did this and attended the gathering in which he was exalted for such a deed.

Huh? Why would anyone want to do that and why would anyone else think this was worthy of anything other than weirdness? First you have to understand the mentality that drives such behavior.

From the viewpoint of this group, as well as most Christians, man is comprised of spirit, soul and body. Since we are here to become spiritual, believers must deny the pleasures of the body as well as the soul.

The body part is easy to comprehend, since many sinful acts are done by our bodies. That is another subject as well, but what this concerns is the soul.

The soul is our personality, the result of the spirit giving life to the body. It is what makes each one of us unique and special. If a believer were to live a soul-led life, he would be given to things like art, music, dance, literature, inventions, learning, enjoying nature (you know, the one God created), conversations, creativity, hospitality, cuisine, volunteering,  and all those endeavors that make us human beings.

Hence, the shunning of soulish desires is meant as a means of becoming spiritual. It is very similar to a Buddhist mentality of detachment and self-denial, except this is shrouded in Christian doctrine. This also explains why people in groups like this are so very similar wherever you go and why they are so indifferent to other people.

The esteemed brother accepted his praise with due humility and the congregation (they don’t call it that because it sounds like the religious world) all nods in agreement that this self-flagellation of the soul is truly remarkable and he must be growing in divine nature from such an experience.

How very telling this experience was and is. It is so warped that is doesn’t even fit in a normal head. This same mentality leads to a coldness, a lack of basic humanity, an indifference to the plight of others, and a narcissistic mutual admiration society of wannbes and mindless followers with an elitist mentality.

So, next time you see the beauty of the sun or the sky, the birth of a baby bird, the decaying leaves on the ground, or the howl of a coyote in the night, remember your creator and be glad.

Some might call it brainwashing, others indoctrination, still others see it as edification. Whatever you call it, repetition is central to gaining and retaining recruits and members.

Consider for a moment just how much indoctrination members of some cults, Smith’s Friends in particular, willingly subject themselves to. Most members attend several meetings a week, listen to messages on cassette tapes, cds, DVDs, during the day, spend many weekends in special event meetings, and use their summer vacation to attend a regional conference where there are at least 3 meetings a day.

These meetings can run from one hour to three or more hours, depending on the size of the congregation and esteem the main speaker carries. Just how long does it really take to learn Christian doctrine?

The result of so many meetings is that members cease to think independently. They certainly are good employees, students and such and often receive high praise for their work ethic, yet, critical, independent thinking just cannot co-exist with a never-ending drone of the same message over and over again.

No wonder university education is not encouraged! A liberal arts education basically serves no purpose for such people. Since literature is written by non-members it just cannot be trusted, so why should anyone read it? What good is art anyway, if the soul is the enemy of the spiritual life? The only music allowed is their own and a few sanctioned variants. Oddly much of their music is taken from other people and new words are added.

Can you really expect a musician at heart to be satisfied with playing simple melodies over and over again ad nauseum? I personally knew a member who was an outstanding musician and painter. He was reduced to painting Donald Duck “wet paint” signs at his local boat factory. There is no use for anything else artistic.

This repetition permeates every aspect of daily life. The noble desire to make ones words and deeds agree so there is growth and development becomes lost because there is actually very little real life. Conformity, group speak, and a self-centered preoccupation with one’s own thoughts replaces actually doing things that might be of benefit for others.

Even the seemingly selfless deeds done for others are constrained by the repetitious teachings. In fact, there are almost never any occasions when something is done for anyone outside of the group. When it is, there is a selfish motive, such as fund-raising to pay for very expensive building in Brunstad, Norway, the headquarters.

Small talk rarely happens because it is idle talk. Visits with relatives are kept to a minimum because they might influence the member in an ungodly manner. In the end, these people can be quite isolated, indoctrinated, self-serving and extremely self-righteous.

After all, if the leaders are the most spiritually developed men on earth, how can they be wrong? So many well-meaning and sincere people are swept up by the apparent community, fellowship, clean living, high standard of living and seemingly sound teaching. Only later do they realize they have lost their soul and missed out on most of what life has to offer for their own self and family.

Traits of a religious cult

Scholars have found numerous key features that most religious cults have in common, and, for the honest seeker of the truth, it is well worth examining your own faith and personal relationship to your church. After all, the truth should be able to withstand the closest scrutiny.

Of course, most  cults do not  have all the necessary traits to make it an absolutely clear cut case, but once you have experienced being in a one, you know the telltale signs well enough.As someone once said (I think it was Alexandr Solzhenitsyn, one of my favorite authors and one that I was reprimanded for reading while in Smith’s Friends), you only need one teaspoon of sea water to know how the entire ocean tastes.

Here is one characteristic of a religious cult, taken from my own experience. There are many more, and hopefully these will be covered later as well.

Characteristic of a religious cult: Group Speak

Group speak means that the members have developed a sort of private language that only the initiated would know. Sometimes this takes the form of odd sounding phrases taken from other languages, or it might stem from the literature that is used as a supplement to the Bible. Once a prominent brother, almost never sisters, has made a profound statement that the general leadership accepts, the rest of the flock more or less parrots the same words and the group speak language expands even more.

A good example of this is Smith’s Friends. If you visit a church in Norway, Toronto, Melbourne or Dusseldorf, you will find the same expressions being used. Mostly these result from the fact that the movement began in Norway in the early 1900′s and the members naturally want to be like those they admire. When a leading brother speaks and the next tier of leaders drink it in, the phrases are disseminated further down the line to the faithful followers at home.

Groups can have almost code-like terminology to describe events, people and doctrines.  While an outsider might think a word means what it normally means in “worldly” contexts, it might mean something quite different to the members of a cult. The Children of God were, and probably still are, notorious for this practice.

If an outsider were ever allowed to attend a brother’s meeting of Smith’s Friends (this is not going to happen, unless it is tightly controlled), he would be amazed at the level of submission the members demonstrate. Controversy is avoided because the one causing the controversy is very quickly ostracised and minimized to the point of becoming an outsider.  The fear of this rejection is powerful, and the members quickly fall into line, rarely daring to disagree.

When the intrepid does speak up and question the discussion or whatever is at hand, the others quickly look to the leaders to see their reaction. Everyone develops a sense of what is acceptable and rarely  ventures beyond an unspoken but very real limit of dissent. Of course, everyone in the group agrees that there is personal freedom and that it is good to be more than a well-meaning “yes-man”, but in practice things are much different.

After all, who wants to be labeled as an opposer or an enemy of the cross!

I’ve often wondered why some people seem to have the ability to fight back when things go against them, remain flexible and seek a solution, and why other people blame others and become angry and frustrated.
Surely there are thousands of theories that attempt to explain why this is so, probably most of them have kernels of truth as well. Nevertheless, I believe that nearly anyone can learn to react in a better way and have a much happier and peaceful life.
A few years ago I sat, together with my cousin, listening to my 100 year old grandmother tell stories of her long life. The thing that impressed me the most was how free she was from complaining or feeling sorry for herself.
One example took place shortly after she was married. They decided to move from southeastern Colorado to Wyoming to open a sort of general store to supply the sheep herders in the area. They were doing well, until the Federal government changed the grazing boundaries to accommodate the cattlemen. Suddenly, without warning, they were put out of business.
By the time my grandfather settled his accounts they had $2 left. She had also just discovered that she was pregnant! He told her to go back to Colorado with half the money and he would join her there as soon as he finished up with the business. Imagine such as scene!
She wound her way to Denver and eventually made it to La Junta, where they had started out. A friend let them live on the back porch for the winter and the new born baby lived in an upside down bathtub for a bedroom!
No heat, no money, just each other and hope. Soon, my grandfather got a good job at the railroad as a machinist, even though he had no experience whatsoever. He worked there his entire life and retired with a very good pension.
The baby grew up to become an elegant woman who married an Air Force colonel and she also owned and operated the finest clothing store in Pueblo, Colorado.
As Mamo, as we called my grandmother, told this story I was struck by how she seemed to describe it as just another bump in the road. Not a hint or trace of self-pity or bitterness. She had numerous stories of personal injustice as well and betrayal that could have made her a very angry person.
Why is it that some people have everything available to speed them along the path of happiness and they disdain it? Why is it that undocumented aliens sacrifice everything so one family member can get an education?
We are what we choose to become. We can determine our own destiny, to a great extent. We can decide to change, we can decide to be grateful and take advantage of life’s many opportunities. Faith gives us strength and hope, religion puts us in artificial boxes of confinement.
If only young people could get a taste for this attitude of thankfulness and fighting to make good things happen. The plague of blaming others and excuse making is a curse of our time. How much better to accept things and then choose to react in a good way!

Normal 0

They said getting old(er) was going to be easy. Well, they lied. At least there are numerous mobility medical products for us aging generation. I thought I had it bad, but I recently realized that I’ve actually got it somewhat better than those older than me. I visited my elder 89 year old Aunt at her assisted living home several weeks ago. She is one of the fortunate few, if you can really call 89 fortunate. At least she’s this side of the grass. My family calls her Aunt Bagel, because her name rhymes with bagel, and well, we’ve just always called her that. She gets along just fine using her little ‘mobility walker‘ that has the standard-issued tennis balls under the wheels. They just never seem to loose that alien space ship yellow color, no matter how many times I take her out for a walk. She’s not the problem, or should I say she’s not the one with the major medical problems associated with getting older. At the mess hall, where everyone feels that they have to eat at exactly 11:43 a.m., you’ve never seen so many mobility scooters, wheel chairs, and every kind of mobility conveyance in all your life. Half of them are either lined up in a neat little row, or the other half are parked in the dining room aisles like obstacles to run over. In a sweet way, it’s kind of cute.

The other jarring matter is the tone, or should I say loudness, of the entire area. If you haven’t lost your hearing before you go there, then you certainly will once you settle in for a spell. Shout, huh, what, not now, where, oh alright…… I should set up a concession to either sell hearing aids, repair and/or supply batteries, or rent ear muffs to the truly good of hearing. I feel just a little bad when I play tricks on the elderly there, such as to ‘mouth’ my words instead of actually speaking them. I know, I know, someday I’ll be in that situation and probably won’t like it. But hey, it really is fun, and you know you’re smirking over this confession. Admit it.

One last observation that is glaring, or should I say odiferous? And that is the overwhelming smell of BenGay. What is up with that?! Does everybody own stock in Johnson & Johnson? There couldn’t be a more plausible explanation for that over-riding smell. But God Bless them all, if that’s all it takes to keep putting one wheel in front of the other, then I guess I could overlook that olfactory experience.

So the next time you’re confronted with a mobility medically challenged person that shouts and smells bad, just think of the alternative………..Ummm, ummmmm good.

Till we meet again, I am and you’re not.

bizbark

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No matter if it is the 4th of July, or merely some other summertime day, odds are that someone in your area is barbecuing as it’s now a normal American tradition for entire families. The explanation is clear as to why, not simply does the food taste good, but cooking out provides a reason for families to gather together. A few of my more unforgettable experiences happened outside during one of the families many get-togethers.

Preparing A Barbeque

First, no barbecue would be full without the guests as well as a proper outdoor weather therefore make plans beforehand, checking with the possible guests for schedule inconsistencies as well as problems. Determining a date and a time which is suitable for everyone ought not to be incredibly difficult provided you give everyone adequate warning, also, be sure to check the weather for that time of year. If you reside within a climate which is unpredictable, then you may want to have an auxiliary plan in the event that unusual weather comes.

You cannot foretell events such as rain and thunderstorms ahead of time, but you could make certain you’d have your cookout at a time of year which would be good for your guests. A barbecue in cold temperatures may hold bad recollections of trying to stay warm instead of great memories of loved ones.

Cookouts provide an entire array of foods that should hugely hinge on your crowd as well as the event in which you are celebrating. With the wide array of options, you are sure to locate at the very least a couple foods which will appease the guests.

Ensure that you make preparations for [your] barbecue so 12 to 24 hours prior to planning on starting this party, ensure you thaw, prepare, and marinade any meat that you would be making. Once you get your meat stored away, soaking up the marinade, now you must start contemplating over which sorts of sides you will be serving. If you desire a completely traditional cookout, you might wish to stick with traditional side dishes, which means coleslaw, baked beans, potatoes and potato salad. Your standard topping bar should include onions, pickles and relish as these are typically served at cookouts since they’re easy to prepare and keep until the event happens. You may wish to prepare other items, but any cookout is complete with just the items listed beforehand.

A themed barbecue may present additional opportunities to hold a festive occasion as you may splurge on the setting and adornments. Coordinated table wear and plates can be obtained at any nearby store and you can additionally coordinate the decor to the event. For example, a luau might simply be innovative colored utensils, leis, and Tiki torches, all of these are extremely inexpensive and you can actually reuse the Tiki torches at a later time!

Your party area should be set up prior to the arrival of the guests. It only requires a few moments to get everything prepared, but the response you receive from your arriving guests may make you feel as if you were getting ready and decorating the entire day. Dependant on the circumstances, you may or may not wish to have the food ready on the grill although the smell will surely be alluring if you start preparing the food earlier!

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If you’re brand new to the world of barbecuing, chances are you’ve run into some issues and barbecuing, just like any other thing, requires practice. Discovering from your mistakes, in addition to the errors of other people will help you learn quickly therefore before you begin grilling, cover the cooking area with a nonstick cooking spray. This would prevent the meat from sticking when you are working with it because if your meat sticks and rips, you’ll lose a large amount of the goodness, and the meat may dry out.

Never place food upon the grill until the temperature is correct since the fluctuation in temps would force the food to dry out or even burn. If you’re using a charcoal grill, make certain that the coals are totally gray prior to putting the meat on the grill. That will allow the temperatures to even out, and the majority of your fluid to burn away.

Grilling with charcoal lighter fluid can be good or very bad as your fluid would cause the food you’re preparing to taste different then with other sorts of grilled food. Although on the other hand, not using lighter fluid may end in a ton of frustration due to the fact that charcoal can be difficult if not totally impossible to ignite devoid of fluid.

You have to adequately ready that meat you are going to cook, before actually cooking it therefore you should never try to prepare the meat on a grill when it’s currently frozen, or actually partially frozen. Thaw the meat by placing it out around twelve to twenty four hours prior to grilling it, or by thawing it in the microwave. If the meat is thawed out, though in your fridge, set it on the counter enough for your meat to become room temperature.

When meat is cooked, never put it back onto that same plate you put it on at the time it was completely raw as that could cause the spread of numerous undesired illnesses. Similarly Don’t touch cooked meat with the same utensils that you utilized when it had been raw. Never poke the meat as it is cooking since poking holes in meat will cause the juice inside to spray out to the bottom of your grill. This won’t just this make the food dry and tough in the end, but it also could potentially damage your grill. At a minimum, it will make a buildup of messy elements on your grill, that will render it much harder to wash.

Once your meat is placed on the grill, don’t open the lid to many times since each instance you remove it’s lid, you adjust the temperature within your grill. The constant alteration in temp and the air flow would make your meat to dry up quickly, and don’t forget that great temperatures do not necessarily equal better tasting food. While it is ok to prepare food fast, turning the heat up would just make your meat dry up and maybe burn.

While utilizing foil will make cleaning simpler, it’d make the food have a more fried taste then a grilled taste. If you’re wanting to use a favorite barbecue sauce, be sure to wait as long as you can to apply it to the meat as putting sauce on to soon will not just potentially make the meat dry, but it could also become burned.

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Let us all face this verity. Most of our appreciations in style further outperform the deepness of our bags. Alternatively instead of falling deep into obligation by adding designer dream adorns to your closet, be fashionable about buying! Why not proceed to a wholesale fashion dresses supplier and bargain in good deal alternatively shopping single.

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