If you have ever wondered just how to give unconditional love, consider this: those who need the most love seem to be the ones who least “deserve” it! It’s easy to give unconditional love to somebody who is nice to you, or who appreciates it. It is an entirely different matter to show love in the face of an angry teenager, or unresponsive partner.

Parents are the lightning rods of the family and it is our obligation to be strong and absorb the fallout from our children. If we don’t do it, who will? Of course, I’m not talking about abuse or violence. Children say and do many things that hurt us; they forget about us, take us for granted, and even seem to hate us at times. That is when we need unconditional love.

Giving this kind of love requires a great deal of inner work on our part. We need the big picture of what is going on in the situations, not the immediate details. We can look to the goal of a well-balance, happy child and then it is not so hard to remain poised in the midst of a storm. Stress and teenagers are almost a certainty these days, maybe it always was. In any case, it is hard being a teenager in today’s very confusing world, and they need our care, whether we feel like it or not!

Think about when we set limits and they buck it. There can be lots of noise and static, but we stand our ground. Firm, but loving. Hard, but kind. Now is not the time to become embroiled in their emotional upheaval and enter into an argument. Later, we are still firm and kind, steady and secure in our decision and love for them.

We cannot allow ourselve the false luxury of grudg-bearing- that is the enemy of showing unconditional love. Let it go. Move on and work on the affirmative. Visualize your child in a positive way, nurture hope. Work on your reactions, let patience do it’s work. Obviously, this is much easier said than done, but it is very much well worth it! After all, what are the alternative?

In this way, family stress is lessened and you gain the confidence of your children. They are looking for strength and security in you.

On the other hand, sometimes you need more than you can manage on your own. I know that has been my case. Here are some great resources.