Relationship Advice: Excuse Me, There Is No Excuse For Your Excuse!

Some of the best relationship advice you can get is to stop making excuses. To the one making the excuse, it makes perfect sense to offer an explanation for not being responsible. 

To the one listening to the excuse, it sounds like the same old story with a new set of words. Excuses break down good will and confidence. After a short time of enduring excuses, even the most loving partner will be affected. Many marriage problems would be avoided by following this relationship advice: stop making excuses and do what you should!

What are some of these excuses?

• Sorry I did not call, my cell phone was dead.

• I was so busy, I just could not get to it.

• Somebody else lost the paperwork I needed, so I could not finish it.

• I did not have time.

• I forgot.

• I have too many things to do, so I overlooked you.

• The check was from out of town, so it took 5 days to clear.

• And on and on and on it goes

Most of the time, at least for the honest people, these are actually true events. But why is it that some people have no need for this type of excuse and others are needing them on a daily basis?

A better reaction to the need for responsibility would be

• It was hard to call because my cell phone died. But I managed to find a phone anyway.

• If you want something done, give it to a busy person.

• Somebody lost the necessary paperwork, but I was able to find a copy someplace else.

• You always have time for the things you love.

• Write yourself a memo, set an alarm, make a note on your dashboard. Do anything that helps you remember what is important.

• Set priorities. You might have to forgo some of the more interesting things in order to fulfill your obligations.

• Plan ahead so you don't get in a bind and need the cash on an emergency basis. Some people go from one crises to another for their entire life!

• The truth is: you do what you are interested in and avoid the unpleasant things. That is just human nature. But the pain of being responsible is less than the agony of hurting other people and the sorrow of remorse.

What can you do about excuses in a relationship?

The basis of a healthy relationship is trust. When there is little trust there can be little intimacy. How can you give your heart to another if you cannot trust him or her? Making excuses erodes that trust. That is why good relationship advice always begins with trust.

If you make a commitment, do everything within your power to keep your word. If you are unable to meet your obligations, have the decency to communicate to your partner or friend. Nobody likes being disappointed or neglected! This is so simple, yet ignored each and every day by many people.

It is always better to be open and honest than to be constantly backtracking and scrambling. Many marriage problems are the direct result of making excuses. Some of the best relationship advice is to rid yourself of the nasty habit of making excuses. You will see an almost immediate change in your partner. Be forewarned though: it takes time to live down a reputation!