Parenting Advice-A Soft Answer

One biblical principle that has stood the test of centuries is that "a soft answer turns away wrath." This is some of the best parenting advice to be found anywhere.

One thing this does not mean is that you must go around speaking softly, like a little mouse. That is sort of like the false humility that makes you everybody's doormat.

What it does mean is this: when one of your children (or anyone else, for that matter), is upset and out of balance emotionally, you must not become like them.

Your response (your answer) will be firm, but in a state of poise. This is the soft answer. You do not become hard, angry, irritated and snappy. Instead, you realize that the problem is the problem, not you.

It is so easy to become part of the problem, instead of objectively looking at the problem and dealing with it in an unattached manner. It is as if the problem has a disgusting odor, and you manage to avoid taking on the smell.

If you don't believe this, try it. It might take some doing, and some practice, but most likely you have ample opportunity! Try separating yourself from the bad behavior of your child. When you are not attached to the problem, you are in a much better position to deal with it in a good manner.

For example

As a parent, it can seem like you get criticized whether you come or go. You are too strict, too lenient, too stingy, too generous, too tolerant, too intolerant, etc. It's a good thing parents are not out to win a popularity contest!

Suppose you are in the emergency room at the hospital with one of your children. You miss making dinner and arrive home late. Incredibly, your teenager complains that there is not dinner. This on top of the fact that he never showed up for dinner the night before, when you made something special!

Instead of hurling some kind of insult back, you firmly, but peacefully show how he could have easily prepared some food for himself. As he continues to complain about how little food is in the house, you remind him that 2 days earlier you spent well over $100 on groceries!

The problem is outside of you

No sarcasm, no whining, no yelling, no self-defense, you must work at this until you are not even sucked into the anger. There is the problem, and there is you.

Refuse to enter into a shouting match. You don't need to raise your voice, if he won't listen now, he probably will later. The main thing is to rise above the hubbub and noise so you can help. At the same time, you will find your ability to bear things from other people will greatly increase.

Learn the art of overcoming evil with good. Your soft answer will definitely turn away the anger of others. This is some of the best parenting advice to be found, but not so easy to master.